@dresspants: I don't want to brag but I have a really nice bum. Found him under the bridge.
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@fro_vo: Mom: if all your friends jumped off a bridge would you jump too Me: no Mom: how about 1 friend Me: what Mom: ok no friends & a ride there
@DaddyJew: Dad: I had a son once Stranger: what happened to him? D: he touched the thermostat Kid: dad, I'm like right here D: you hear something?
@SnackMomSyndrom: If something happened to me today, my legacy would be how much my kids say "like"