@MacAnnabella: I don't want to hear about any moonlit romantic walks on the beach...unless there's a clown with a wooden club chasing you.
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@KeetPotato: [at interview] "ok 1st question you're on a submarine you find a dog, what do you call him" umm "..." subwoofer? "welcome to the navy seals"
@iwearaonesie: Such bullshit that people stop saying "You ate it all! Good job!" once you reach a certain age
@david8hughes: [alligator store] Clerk: $1500. Thanks Me: not gonna say bye to him? Clerk: uh Me: say it Clerk: goodbye Me: say "see you later alligator"
@ibid78: *interrupts your baby's first words* "IF A PANDA WEARS A HANDKERCHIEF IT'S CALLED A PANDANA."