@murfer28: I don't want to lock my account because I like to help my X's feel better about themselves when they check in & make sure I'm still a drunk.
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@WheelTod: I used to complain about crying babies on airplanes but last week I was flying, both pilots died & a crying baby landed us on a soccer field
@iwearaonesie: me: Did you brush your teeth? 9: Yes me *hands him a glass of orange juice* 9: Do I have to? me: Yep. Told you not to touch my Cheetos