@Spotzwoj: "I don't want to talk about it, so I posted some lyrics for you to decipher about how it's your fault." ~ girls
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@SamuelHLowe: - We buried my mother-in-law yesterday. - Sorry to hear that. When did she die? - My guess would be sometime this morning.
@Brianhopecomedy: My 4 year old and I are having an argument. I'm telling him that he is making me late for work and he's telling me that he is Batman.
@jasonroeder: Next time a conspiracy theorist says, "That's what they want you to think," say, "No, but that's what they wanted you to tell me."