@RorynotRoy: "I don't want you to freak out, but..." - someone with a shaky grasp of how anxiety works
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@fart: i made the mistake of watching a single zit popping video on youtube and now my recommendations screen is trying to make me barf
@GlumGeorgeLucas: "Rogue One" idea: The spies anxiously wait to meet their new commander. Boldly - regally - he strides into the room. "Mesa Jar-Jar Binks"
@Sickayduh: [Lie detector] "You claim you can move an object by saying just one word. Is this true?" - Yes *needle going nuts* "I, sir, have been owned"
@mynameisntdave: ME: honey, it's really muggy out today WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving u ME: *sips coffee from bowl*