@katiefzack: I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY but I'll take it.
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@emmatheist: [Google search history] Moles How to kill moles How to make homemade bombs Rescue moles from cave-in Dealing with regret Mole stew
@DanMentos: "Hi I'm looking for a birthday card for my mom's sister" *hands you an extremely small card* "WHAT IS THIS A CARD FOR AUNTS" Yes "Perfect"
@Marlebean: Friend zone?! I've been sister zoned! And if one more dude pats me on the head, I'm telling mom!!