@katiefzack: I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY but I'll take it.
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@jake_likes_naps: [gets down on 1 knee] Babe will you-- "Yeah... Here it is" [she lends me her phone charger] Thanks
@sug_knight: In hell u have to go hot tubbing with all the people who show up in the "people you may know" section of facebook
@Vodkantots: "And what will you do if you're crowned Miss Universe?" "I will have a special prosecutor put the first runner up in jail."