@Elizasoul80: I don't want your undivided attention. I want your multiplied attention. Make clones of yourself and give me all of their attention too.
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@FredPollack: Had trouble sleeping today. They added a trumpeter to this morning's church service.
@KentWGraham: For parents, college is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they’ll send your kid back.
@rockymomax: [me as a doctor] ME: *delivers baby* congratulations NEW MOTHER: what is it ME: it's a baby idiot