@tealbluejay: I don't wear a watch because my inner 3yo thinks nothing exists until I get there.
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@TwinSurvivalist: Let's not buy them two of all the same toys we said. It'll teach them to share, we said. We are idiots.
@RatCasket: [ISIS cuts off some dudes heads] Whoa thats messed up you better quit it! [ISIS breaks old rocks] OKAY WE HAVE TO STOP THEM NOW.
@Dexxe: These food blogs start simple. 'How to cook rice. Boil. Serve' But over time... 'How to crème brûlée baba ganoush with caramel'.
@TheToddWilliams: You're never gonna believe this but Ben Carson's full name is Benghazi Carsonofsatan