@tealbluejay: I don't wear a watch because my inner 3yo thinks nothing exists until I get there.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@soanim8ed: Why do prescription pills always say "by mouth?" Where else would people put th... Ooooooh.
@vineyille: I run up to the firefighter as he drags another charred body out of my burning home. “Did you see a zip disk labeled POEMS in there?”
@OakHill_: '"I'm a healthy bacteria that aids in digestion" - probiotic "Ummm.... Pssssstt!! Dude... What's a digestion?" - amateur biotic