@tealbluejay: I don't wear a watch because my inner 3yo thinks nothing exists until I get there.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PaulyPeligroso: Roses are red. Violets are blue. Hide all that weed because police lights are too.
@CanadianCyn: If I went back in time I'd tell myself... "Don't wait until 29 to become a stripper. You get to be naked, drunk and get paid for it!"
@WookieInMyPants: Me: Can I leave early? Boss: Why? Me: Death Boss: Who died? Me: No one yet Boss: Me: Boss: Get out
@topaz_kell: Ambien is not the answer, unless your neighbor questions why you were sleeping on their couch and where did their cheesecake go.