@HabeasDorkis: I don't wear sunglasses because it's unfair that a photon travels 93 million miles and then when it's an inch from my eye I'm all "um, no."
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@tsm560: I just might be the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Providing everything that’s happened to you thus far has been really really bad.
@FuckabillyRex: Life isn’t fair. Unless you’re a carny. Then life is pretty much all fair, all the time.
@CantWaitToNap: Spielberg's movie "Catch Me If You Can” but it’s just me making up jobs I have so I don’t need to volunteer at school.