@MrSandeepP: I dont't want to die a virgin because that means I'll have to have sex with terrorists.
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@dksc4life: It was awkward to see the "World's Greatest Driver" bumper sticker on my car when it got pulled out of the lake today.
@david8hughes: [first day as a soldier] Army guy: we deploy at 04:00hrs Me: where we going? Army guy: to war, soldier Me [setting alarm for 10am]: enjoy