@D2_Barney_McG: I doubt my inferiority complex is as good as everyone else's
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@MissBee73: You know why some people wear socks with sandals?Cos they've never been punched in the head for it.If you see an offender,do the right thing
@simoncholland: [Mother's Day text to my wife] Don't let the kids know I sent this but do you know where we keep the powdered sugar and band-aids?
@jrhennessy: Folks, what's the deal with Stuart Little. Husband and wife go to an adoption agency and they give them a rat in a sweater. Surely illegal