@Discourt: I dream of a day when my toddler can poop and the entire neighborhood doesn't have to hear her say she's done.
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@mynameisntdave: If you want your dog to take a pill: 1. Get a piece of cheese 2. Eat the cheese for energy 3. Get ready to wrestle your dog
@Cpin42: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because you got picked on in high school? Cop: *sniffles* Shut up.
@ahuj9: Hello is this HP? I'd like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.