@Discourt: I dream of a day when my toddler can poop and the entire neighborhood doesn't have to hear her say she's done.
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@leechee420: Watching a show about women who choose to give birth outside. Like, let's take the most painful experience of my life and add bugs and shit.
@RandomManik: I stole a seat from an old man and he remarked, "Chivalry is Dead". I said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know. He wasn't even trending on Twitter".
@007Rex_Inc: There sure are a lot of hot Canadian chicks on Twitter....if I knew Canadian, I would totally hit on them.