@Discourt: I dream of a day when my toddler can poop and the entire neighborhood doesn't have to hear her say she's done.
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@ValeeGrrl: Taught daughter to make toast & she already knows how to do boxed Mac n cheese so now she's all caught up to my level of culinary prowess.
@mattgallo123: This cashier just held my five dollar bill up to the light in case you're wondering how I do with first impressions.
@NicestHippo: Props to every deodorant commercial ever for abandoning all creativity and just going with "If you buy this, women will have sex with you"
@SteveKoehler22: Damn you, Autocorrect ! Why do you keep changing a word into something that makes no sense ? You are the banner of my existence.