@Schmoodles: I dress up as a Girl Scout for my boyfriend, but just so we can practice our elaborate cookie heist.
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@kumailn: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa" - the soundtrack to every Middle Eastern scene in every Hollywood movie.
@Awesomemom10: Maybe if I answer the door naked the pizza delivery guy won't realize I paid with Monopoly money.
@pixelatedboat: Who are you going to trust, some real doctor who says it's impossible to make you a centaur, or me, the guy with a hacksaw and half a horse?
@daemonic3: DOCTOR: You should lose some weight ME: Ok I'll consider it VET: Your dog should lose some weight ME: Hey bud, you're going on a diet!