@Schmoodles: I dress up as a Girl Scout for my boyfriend, but just so we can practice our elaborate cookie heist.
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@MarlaCaceres: Give a toddler a crayon and he will eat that crayon. Teach him how to color and he will eat more crayons.
@HonestToddler: Parents: It's unfair to put your toddler on a leash if you're not going to also let them pee next to parked cars.
@DJRotaryRachel: A miracle birth, then resurrection. Accept Frosty the Snowman as your personal savior.
@emmatheist: Unwritten rule: if you find an unconscious security guard you have to drag him to a supply closet and change into his uniform.