@RidiculousSheri: I drink expresso irregardless of the time, because, for all intensive purposes, its good for my sole. Also, it keeps my brain alot sharper.
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@LaziestCanine: Cashier: find everything okay? Me: yes [comes back 5 hours later] Me: [through the tears] i lied, i've been trying to find Kony since 2012
@tayandmae: U know your mind is gone when u get out of bath and realize u only shaved one leg Unless u only have one leg... Then you're good
@FatherWithTwins: Remember: whatever fun game you invent for your kids, you're going to have to play it 10,000 times
@GabbbarSingh: All good students of Astrology drop out midway after they learn enough to find out. :)