@SuitableHolmes: I drink Rockstar cause I'm a rockstar. My wife drinks Monster.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MikeOdenthal: i hate sex and have no libido but i still date because i love explaining to women why the music they like is bad
@El_nacho_Nigre: Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art? Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"
@vineyille: I place my finger on the police officer's lips. "Shhh. Look, we were both speeding, ok? I forgive you."
@VintageBabe1212: Decided to stop partying at friends houses who have toddlers... Those childproof bathroom doorknobs are absolutely hell to open while drunk.