@super_morgasm: I drink, therefore I am.... Drunk.
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@juneohara65: I'd get into a lesbian relationship just to mooch my girlfriend's hair care products.
@thenatewolf: "Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much when I write?" I asked. She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.
@WilliamAder: I've been hearing noises in the house for a while now and while Twitter was down last night I discovered I have a wife!
@writerPT: It's my mom's personal mission in life to save me 20% on all my purchases by clipping out and giving me every coupon known to mankind.