@super_morgasm: I drink, therefore I am.... Drunk.
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@KKBowls: "I know what you look like naked" - me to my girlfriends identical twin sister, every single time I see her.
@TheFunnyWorId: Wanna talk about Sodium? Na Nitric Oxide? NO Oxygen Magnesium Phosphorus Iodine Sulfur or Fluorine? OMg PISS OFF ...Potassium? K
@NOT_UmaThurman: [Jesus on a blind date] Christians: "Hmm, you seemed whiter in your profile picture"
@Kyle_Lippert: Robin Thicke is what would happen if a roofie became a human and decided to make music.