@TheToddWilliams: I dropped a LOT of acid in the 70s. It was sulfuric acid. I worked for a chemist you see...well a few chemists. I kept getting fired for dro
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@daemonic3: [trying to impress fiancée's entire family] Waiter: Your bill for- Oh I got it! [looks at bill & spits wine] WHO ORDERED THE "SUBTOTAL"?!?
@DonQuickoats: My dogs are barking a lot lately but I think it is because their performance appraisals are coming up
@ValeeGrrl: 6yo lured girls to our beach umbrella by shaking a bag of Cheetos at them & it worked so guys, feel free to steal his fool-proof method.