@rad_milk: I dropped a piece of cheese on the airplane and i know it rolled forward and some piece of shit in first class is enjoying it now
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@HoIIiday: sex ed told us to practice safe sex and now 10 years later everyone’s choking each other
@whatmaddness: Two raccoons reach into a moonlit bag of trash. A moment! Their paws meet. They lock eyes. They hiss and scratch the shit out of each other.
@nealbrennan: I hope the bomber suspect is made of green screen so we can all project our most feared skin color onto him.