@LuckoftheDraw86: I dropped my iPhone under the bed once so I get it, moms that lift cars off their babies, I get it.
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@TweetsByTheTony: In pretty sure my wife's most prized possession is her plastic bag full of other plastic bags.
@MarfSalvador: Lawyer: You're looking at life without parole Client: [Breaks down crying] Lawyer: Hey it's ok I've never had a parole either
@iwearaonesie: How much longer? Did you bring any snacks? They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet? - me watching my kids Christmas pageant