@LuckoftheDraw86: I dropped my iPhone under the bed once so I get it, moms that lift cars off their babies, I get it.
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@BackrowSeats: People that say "God never gives you more than you can handle" never met my ex-girlfriend.
@rebrafsim: Son: daddy why is the sky blue? Me: it’s probably sad that people ask questions that they could have just googled
@shutupmikeginn: I just ran into my high school bully and it was great cause I'm doing well and he's 17 which is very old for a dog
@rorynotroy: the early bird gets the worm but so does the bird that gets outta bed around 1pm because there are plenty of worms out there believe me