@LuckoftheDraw86: I dropped my iPhone under the bed once so I get it, moms that lift cars off their babies, I get it.
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@ruinedpicnic: (climbing out of my coffin) I'm sure you all have a lot of questions, but firstly the reason I faked my death is- [nobody is at my funeral]
@catlikethiefx0: I should've been a child star so I could've gotten all my working out of the way and been an accomplished drug addict by now.
@yab_kat: [gets pulled over] Officer: *through window* Do you know why i pulled you over? Me: *punches steering wheel* answer the man you criminal car