@ninjadinosaur1: I dunno Discovery Channel, if you think crabs are the deadliest thing you can catch, you've obviously never slept with my sister Ashley.
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@T_Bonezzz_: My sister let me borrow her newborn baby so I could meet girls at the mall. Worked great! Also, If you've found my nephew Jake, lemme know
@_davidlucas_: Leviticus 20:13 legalises gay marriage and marijuana: "If a man lays with another man he should be stoned".
@McMcmadmac: My grandpa use to tell us about walking 10 miles to school. I tell my grandchildren about walking across the room to change channels!
@bananagrvyrd: My DNA results came back and apparently I'm .0002% aardvark. Which pretty much answers all the questions I've ever had. About anything.