@Fatgoldfish4: I dunno if anyone else follows Play-Doh on Facebook but you should cause they're doing some serious damage control
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@MartaEffing: When I realized my boyfriend said we should 'break up' & not 'break dance', I was sad, but also relieved.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [telling a scary story to a group of moths] and when she opened the door..[holds flashlight to face] she- AH GET OFF OF ME YOU GUYS
@Death_Buddy: *On date* Her: hey, how are you? Me: yeah really g.. BRAIN: *interrupting* TELL HER THAT RAP ABOUT ANTS YOU MADE UP ON THE WAY HERE.
@jctwritesstuff: Me: I only wanted a little mayo! I can't eat this! Him: Does it matter that much? Me: Well, would you like me to stab you a little or a lot?