@Fatgoldfish4: I dunno if anyone else follows Play-Doh on Facebook but you should cause they're doing some serious damage control
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@crunchenhanced: *Stands at produce aisle *Grabs GIANT zucchini *Holds it high in the air *Yells: Is THIS cucumber big enough for you, honey?!?!?!
@TheSharona06: Instead of smiling and nodding through a conversation, try clapping and nodding. People will stop talking to you.
@murrman5: [wife replies to text that I found a genie] dont do a thing im almost home [she pulls up and the car from the cars movie is in the driveway]
@awkwardphilippe: That awkward moment when your date says she has a hair piece but later you find out she was saying herpes.