@Fatgoldfish4: I dunno if anyone else follows Play-Doh on Facebook but you should cause they're doing some serious damage control
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@JP_theAntiHero: Dude turned from the ATM and tripped sending about eight 20s flying into my face. I teared up a little. I get strippers, I get it.
@eff_yeah_steph: *first date* Him: So, I’m a youth minister. Me: Oh, cool. *googling cast of the bible* I really like...Lucifer.
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: *points to 2-year-old* Her shoes are on the wrong feet. Me: That's what happens when she puts them on herself. Wife: I watched you dress her.