@highwayhooligan: I eat boiled eggs, cabbage, and baked beans before the in-laws visit. They never stay long.
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@MandiAtRandom: Something good is coming my way I can feel it. Nothing life changing, probably just a hotdog God please let it be a hotdog
@FeralCrone: I said I was mad at myself. My 4yo son looked at me. "There are fancier words for mad," he said, fixing my hair. "You should say irritated."
@DirtMcTurd: Taco Bell doesn't have a playground because its hard to have fun when you might shit your pants
@pleatedjeans: Wine and cheese pair well together bc they are both the expired byproducts of other foods enjoy your trash snack rich people