@Cheeseboy22: I eat my corn on the cob like an old-school typewriter. This is how the 80's cartoons taught me to do it as a kid.
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@_thatigirl: 83 yo man, "You speak pretty good English for a Chinese girl". Me: "I'm caucasian". Him, "Well, any kind of Asian looks Chinese to me".
@daemonic3: Son? "Yes dad?" If they ever put me on my death bed... I want you to... "Yes?" Tell those idiots to put me on a life bed instead wtf
@ojedge: WATER POLO INSTRUCTOR: "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" ME: [Adjusting the mask & snorkel on my horse] "Of course I do."