@numbertze: I eat my pizza with a knife and fork because I am from a big family, and you need weapons to protect your food at all times
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@WigCannon: your call is important to us. like, super important. we all bought new outfits for this call. dave is wearing a wig
@msgwenl: Always a bridesmaid, never a new world-order leader in a post-apocalyptic all-powerful matriarchy. Sigh.
@patrickmarkryan: Two drivers crash into each other. They both finish writing their texts before getting out of their cars to inspect the damage
@_MoonWinx_: 32 is taking me to dinner, 29 is taking me to a concert, & 26 is taking me straight to bed. I don't have kids, did I do that right?