@numbertze: I eat my pizza with a knife and fork because I am from a big family, and you need weapons to protect your food at all times
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@fro_vo: [restaurant] ME: this chicken fried steak is terrible WAITER: that’s probably because it was fried by a chicken
@ginadivittorio: Me: What's an easy oatmeal cookie recipe? Every recipe website: While I was technically born in Ohio in 1983, my soul was born last summer in rural Tuscany...