@nPhelendriqal: I eat pudding with a fork, so no, crossword puzzles aren't really my 'thing'.
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@AlexRogaski: [Me as 911 Operator] *phone rings* I wait for it to stop ringing and text back "what's up"
@ndiquote: interviewer : you said you have a dark past, so why should we hire you ? me : ...so I can pay my electricity bills
@Bagyants: Hang in there, people suffering from natural disasters and deadly diseases - we're putting ribbons on our cars as fast as we can