@ScorpionDong: I eat sunflower seeds because I like food but I absolutely love littering
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@tchrquotes: Me: I ate all the chips. Wife: What!? For the boys' lunches!? Well, at least we still have cheeze its. Me: You're not going to believe this
@Donna_Gallers: Avoid the horror of watching your children’s nativity this year by using a condom approximately six years before you have to attend.
@panmidwest: mary: excuse me, waiter? i asked you to stop bringing him juice waiter: we did, we’ve only given him water 10 year old jesus: *winks at camera*