@bridger_w: I eat the first half of a burrito to get full, I eat the second half to teach myself a lesson
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@OwensDamien: I don’t think Major Tom was much of an astronaut - Ground Control had to tell him to put his helmet on, FFS. That’s pretty basic stuff.
@Rollinintheseat: When you're talking to someone with no teeth, you find out teeth are also a retaining wall for spit.
@TheAlexP: Sometimes when I get a compliment I stop, moonwalk out of the room and yell "Thank You "just to leave them hanging.