@bridger_w: I eat the first half of a burrito to get full, I eat the second half to teach myself a lesson
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheDailySchmuck: *makes third wish* Lastly, I want to be irresistible to women. [Transformed into really nice handbag] Dammit.
@CheryeDavis: I'm perfectly fine with kissing frogs to find a prince...But I draw the line at kissing snakes.
@trevso_electric: One day we will look back at the criminalization of marijuana and laugh because we will be so high.