@OhNoSheTwitnt: I ended it after I checked his browser history and found hundreds of video game walk-throughs. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
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@doguacate: Listen. You've been saying this for the last eight and a half months. I still don't know what you're "expecting"
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "What's your greatest weakness?" Alcohol "Umm ok, how about strengths?" *pouring him a shot* Sharing
@darinlovesbacon: My kid asked me where babies came from and I was like "Dude, ask your Mom. I still can't figure out why Garfield talks and Odie doesn't."