@NYC_Blonde: I enjoy April Fool's Day because I like responding to fake pregnancy announcement texts with "no wonder you've been looking chubby".
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@mjkspeaks: [on phone with attorney] HIM: you're being charged for murder. ME: damn that sounds expensive i guess you can just put it on my Amex
@ibid78: WHAT DO WE WANT? The ability to ask different questions WHAT DO WE WANT? See this is what we were talking about
@WilliamAder: Do those "selfie sticks" retract, or do you just have to walk around like a doofus with a stick all day?