@NYC_Blonde: I enjoy April Fool's Day because I like responding to fake pregnancy announcement texts with "no wonder you've been looking chubby".
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@MissNaughty1801: CW:where are you going? Me:trying to prevent an awkward conversation between two people CW:who? Me:me and you
@KevinBuffalo: *placing Trump & Hillary signs on my lawn Neighbor: "Confused about who to vote for?" Me: "What? No! I'm making a Halloween haunted house."
@sara_ashlynn: I'm a long-term thinker. For instance, the green bananas I bought will be delicious in 2 days.