@joeldanger: I enjoy visiting countries where I don't speak the language because it requires zero effort to tune out everyone around me.
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@flashember: DISH FATHER: You can NEVER see that spoon again! *daughter dish starts sobbing* [outside the window, Spoon is thinking] we leave tonight
@Chumpstring: I never claimed to have all the answers. I said two. I have two answers. There's a guy in Nebraska who has six. Go bother him.
@LindaInDisguise: Siri, make me pancakes. You have a Blackberry, Linda. Go home, Linda, you're drunk.