@CatherineLMK: I estimate 70% of my work conversations are just me quoting made up statistics.
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@BallsMcBallski: Me: Most of all, remember to be kind to yourself. You deserve it. Neighbor: If you don't stay out of my heating duct I'm calling the cops.
@TweetingDadGuy: Wild horses could definitely drag me away. Tame horses could too. A slightly muscular hamster probably could drag me away at this point.
@mrjohndarby: My family gather round while the lawyer quietly reads my will. He hands out 1 hot dog each and when they finish eating he asks them to leave