@CatherineLMK: I estimate 70% of my work conversations are just me quoting made up statistics.
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@apollilaire: i order a pizza online and under special requests i write: "tell me the meaning of life". when the door bell rings there's only an empty box
@HausOfAustin: Apple CEO announces he's gay. Samsung CEO announces he's more gay and water resistant.
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: Why are we here? Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions
@SuburbanSleuth: I want a family beach vacation. Hubby wants a family ski vacation. Hubby showing kids video of tsunamis. But 2 can play. Avalanche anyone?