@degg: i failed a piss test at work you guys. Yeah, I made a poop instead! Hahahaha
@ecorno2: You may be a good person deep down inside, but I don't carry around a shovel
@Sean_Burgundy_: 66% of being a woman is just hiding the remote when you're mad
@thenatewolf: Mom: I brought you into this world and I can take you out
Me: Who taught you about laws, mom? Granny?
Granny: I'm allowed to kill everyone
@tsm560: I can make just about anything happen simply by hoping it won't.
@_xLNc: My girlfriend left me for a hindu guy.
Anyway, he'll treat her better - they worship cows.