@SondraDeeMe: I fake the art of fainting so well my favorite restaurant now refers to me as "Low Blood Sugar Girl" while rushing my limp body to a table.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Sickayduh: "Ewww how'd that get in the house? I don't wanna kill it. I'll just put it outside" *scoops your baby up in a tissue*
@woodmuffin: "For my next illusion" the magician announces: "Free will!" Everyone starts clapping but they don't know why
@LurkAtHomeMom: Mom: how's therapy Me: ok. my anxiety is better Mom: great Me: yeah Mom: Me: Mom: so did u get the article I sent u about the flesh eating b