@MiniiG: I fall in love too easily.
It's ditches, I fall in ditches too easily
@1Happytwit: They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn't mean to eat it. I don't want to be a bug.
@CauseWereGuys: This Polar Bear is my spirit animal
@kookiedelukey: Myth: Have kids close in age. It gets easier and they'll have a friend to play with
Fact: They'll fight. Every hour. Every day.
@beermanboobs: Surprise your coworkers by hiding in the utility closet until you're dead.
@AmishPornStar1: Why is it always "I see you drank all the beer today!" instead of, "Oh, honey, that was so sweet of you to help clean out the refrigerator."