@ThatEggChick: I fall more in love with you each day, well, except yesterday. Yesterday you were really freakin' annoying.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Gooooats: My kitten is probably the most playful creature on the planet, but it's less cute when you realize it's all just bird murder practice.
@CheryeDavis: I'm glad the Dentist calls me the day before to remind me to cancel my appointment.
@BlakWidowBarbee: My tweets don't get the attention they used to. I've seen more stars after getting my head slammed into the headboard.