@ThatEggChick: I fall more in love with you each day, well, except yesterday. Yesterday you were really freakin' annoying.
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@SocialExtortion: I hate going to the dentist, he is always like "did you eat Oreos before you came in?" and "you are still eating Oreos, I can see you"
@SooInnocentDad: Found my son and his GF naked in his room, Sex-ED is so advanced. Now, they also give homework!
@rachelle_mandik: there is no way you can prove that babies grow and are not instead replaced overnight with entirely new but slightly larger babies