@ThatEggChick: I fall more in love with you each day, well, except yesterday. Yesterday you were really freakin' annoying.
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@PaperWash: Mario Kart: 1) stays in first place for 3 laps 2) gets passed by 5 people at last second 3) slams controller 4) quits job 5) divorces wife
@ojedge: WATER POLO INSTRUCTOR: "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" ME: [Adjusting the mask & snorkel on my horse] "Of course I do."
@UnFitz: Me: Hi, mom. I'm feeling tremendous guilt. Mom: Why? Me: Just thought I'd save you the effort.