@Hormonella: I fart in church so I can sit in my own pew.
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@SteveSuckington: Fantasy football is just Dungeons and Dragons for the people who used to beat up the people who played Dungeons and Dragons.
@margolundy: Life dull? Add 'or die trying' to every statement. "I'm gonna pick up milk on the way home OR DIE TRYING." Instant excitement.