@GregDorris: I farted alone in a room and then my girlfriend's dad came in. Now I have to pretend like something is dead in the walls and help him look.
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@StarWarsProblms: Kylo: I need an N to finish my favorite Vader quote. Han: This is SpaghettiOs, not Alphabet Soup. Kylo: Great. Now Vader says, "OOOOOOOO!"
@GerryMcBride: Judas: The one I kiss is Jesus Christ. Soldier: You can just point to him. Judas: (putting on lip-balm) I don't tell you how to do your job.
@kelkulus: Between IKEA and Burger King, I think it's safe to say we've all eaten entire horses by now.
@LuvPug: Nobody ever mentions one of the greatest joys of being a parent is mocking your kids in an annoying voice, repeating what they whined about