@GregDorris: I farted alone in a room and then my girlfriend's dad came in. Now I have to pretend like something is dead in the walls and help him look.
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@Xalqee: When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?
@AndyAsAdjective: Finding out how big of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan I truly am was understandably pretty tough for my daughters, Raphael & Leonardo.
@david8hughes: [boxing match] Commentator: Silva is in the red shorts with green, white & yellow trim Me: the black guy. Just say Silva is the black guy