@CauseWereGuys: I farted while lifting a heavy object today. It was very embarrassing. I had to apologize to the man at the next urinal.
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@miller_tm: Just got an email from dominoes said "easy and delicious" they sure know how to talk to a single guy!
@GrantTanaka: As I waved my gun in their faces, I thought to myself "What kinda weird bank has children, clowns, presents, & balloons all over the place?"