@CauseWereGuys: I farted while lifting a heavy object today. It was very embarrassing. I had to apologize to the man at the next urinal.
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@Mr_Kapowski: With the ferocity that my 6 y/o daughter knocked on the bathroom door there was either a murderer in the house or a cat did something cute
@BruceForce: When I see a door with the sign 'Door Alarmed' I always tell the door "don't worry, it's only me" ~ It's all about the empathy.
@aplethoras: me: why do i feel terrible brain: coffee is not a food group brain: eat a vegetable brain: sleep me: guess we'll never know brain: oh my god