@DannyZuker: I fear all this talk of llamas & dresses has distracted us from the important fact that there is video of Madonna falling off a stage.
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@KevinFarzad: It's nice to know that even people who are running for President are shitty at answering "What is your greatest weakness?"
@OBiiieeee: "Dad why'd u name me this?" I named u after the greatest athlete to ever live "Oh ok" Now let's go, Air Bud, we're gonna be late for church
@infamousone96: Boss: "You're not suppose to be drinking on the job!" Me: "You're not suppose to cheat on your wife." Boss: "Keep up the good work sir."
@Sammy_Sega: BAD: When your date has been in the Men's Room for 45 mins. WORSE: When the 6 yo girl at the table next to you says "he's not coming back"