@BradBroaddus: I feel a bit overdressed here at WalMart because my pajamas match.
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@topaz_kell: "Your bathroom has better lighting for selfies" wasn't a good enough excuse for my surprised neighbor getting out of the shower. So uptight.
@juliussharpe: The NSA has been tracking phone records for Verizon customers. They skipped AT&T because those people can't complete calls.
@ruinedpicnic: me: [spends $20 on a parody MAGA hat with a subtle change] anyone more than five feet away: oh look that person is a trump supporter