@calamitydaisy: I feel a burst of superiority when I trick a fly into flying out of my car window.
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@just1fool: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's meant to be. So only become emotionally invested with boomerangs and dogs.
@robin_991: 6yo: I wish I was a bird so I could poop on peoples heads. 7yo: why do you need to be a bird? my 7yo is ready for twitter.
@Underchilde: Got a cease and desist letter that says I can’t wear my hard hat around town until I learn how to wolf whistle.