@calamitydaisy: I feel a burst of superiority when I trick a fly into flying out of my car window.
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@Mikecanrant: Legally, if a woman is wearing hoop earrings that are as big as the side of her face, you are allowed to hurl a basketball at her head.
@RdrJay47: Me: I'd like to adopt that baby. Clerk: Sir, that's a family sized platter of Super Nachos.
@abbycohenwl: Banker: You're sure you want a reverse mortgage & get how it works? Me(imagines bank making huge unaffordable payments to me for years): Yes