@calamitydaisy: I feel a burst of superiority when I trick a fly into flying out of my car window.
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@Underchilde: “I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job, but...” —People who are found buried in the woods
@didifalldown: [Robot Uprising] Human: Oh no a robot! What kind are you? Robot: I am a counting machine Human: Oh thank g— Robot: Now killing human #53822
@carlyken: [bedtime] brain: hey remember that lost episode where the couple gets paralyzed DO THOSE SPIDERS LIVE NEAR US me: SLEEP brain: NO, GOOGLE IT