@NathanPlacer: I feel as useless as a Kardashian sister's library card.
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@KimmyMonte: Sometimes, late at night, I'll look up at the stars and wonder if you're also stealing lawn furniture.
@BuckyIsotope: Kanye goes to law school just so he can yell THE DEFENSE WESTS YOUR HONOR and moonwalk out of the courtroom. The defendant is executed.
@callie_cakes: PRO TIP: If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks.
@chuuew: DR: So, you're 36 years old, 4 foot tall & sound like a woman. How can I help you today, Mr Simpson? BART: I don't know where my hair starts