@NathanPlacer: I feel as useless as a Kardashian sister's library card.
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@TheDailySchmuck: "It meant nothing to me, babe. I swear!" When my girl catches me in the closet eating Devil's food cake with my bare hands.
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know how fast you were going? "55?" Cop: Faster. "217." Cop: Um, no, 72. "24?" Cop: I already told y- "Negative 6?" Cop: Get out.