@ems: I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn't even eat them.
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@TheTalkingPipe: My way or the highway. It takes two to tango. What I'm saying is, "welcome to idiom club". Now, let's cut to the chase.
@joe_binkley: (Cargo pants filled with tater tots) "How many do I need to get an Xbox?" "Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"
@electrolemon: a cute girl stopped behind my laptop as I was full screen on a pic of bread and I didn't know what to say so I stammered out "I like bread"
@matt___nelson: ME: time for sleep BRAIN: what if potatoes could talk ME: ugh BRAIN: and make friends with one another ME: please stop BRAIN: best spuds