@MythicPicnic: I feel bad for my Roomba, so every other day I vacuum while it sits on the couch watching TV and drinking beer.
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@trevso_electric: Women! Can't live with 'em, can't sell 'em or Liam Neeson will find you and kill you.
@Midgetspar: On a scale from 1 to 10 I tell people they're an 11. It's a fun way to let them know they don't exist and they take it as a compliment.
@CornOnTheGoblin: The lead singer of Chumbawamba died earlier today. During his autopsy his body got knocked down...and that's when things got interesting.