@caperbc75: I feel bad for that caveman who invented the wheel because you know his mother-in-law was all "She shoulda married Grog. He invented fire"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@caliluvgirl77: [introducing myself to new boyfriends parents] "Hi, I usually don't make it this far"
@iwearaonesie: me: What? A lot of people launch shopping carts across parking lots wife: Yeah but they take the kid out first! son *screaming*
@jwoodham: Hey [STOP] Got your voicemail earlier [STOP] I'm replying with a telegram because you're apparently a big fan of outdated technology [STOP]
@nigelgodwin: My kids are always accusing me of having a favorite child which is ridiculous because I don't really like any of them