@AGreaterMonster: I feel bad I punched that guy, but he shouldn't get so close to my punching bag. I should stop leaving my punching bag by my office door.
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@DannyZuker: As my friend confessed, "My teenage daughter never even talks to me," I struggled to conceal my jealousy.
@EJGomez: judas: i would never betray jesus he's the best jesus: my favorite movie is the Minions Movie judas: i am going to betray the son of God
@dixinormus10: I didn't think it was possible to travel 10 years back in time until I got into an argument with my wife.
@lloydrang: I just saw a squirrel dragging a wine bottle bag up a tree. I think I found my spirit animal.