@nyctwon: I feel creepy every time I 'follow' someone. Where are they going to take me? I hope its somewhere good
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@MartaEffing: *sees person I know in a crowd* *waves enthusiastically* * realizes I don't know person* * changes enthusiastic wave to awkward fist pump*
@RobertJrDowney: If Twitter was invented by a woman, The character limit would be 10,000 characters.
@BigHeb7: My wife takes 13 bikinis for a 4-day beach trip. Meanwhile, I'm rocking the swimming trunks my mom bought at K-Mart in 1991.