@MarkAgee: I feel like Donald Trump and Bill Clinton have a $1 bet that Trump can make Hillary president and Bill can make her not president.
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@Sassafrantz: The average person has sex 103 times a year and it's almost March so that means only 103 more to go.
@GrantTanaka: Wife: you're drunk Me: no'm not Wife: I'M JUST A POOR BOY NOBODY LOVES ME Me: HE JURSTA PRO BROY FUMMA FLOOR FLAMLEE Wife: Me: ok lil bit
@neiltyson: #WhenIWasYourAge: We had to open all doors by ourselves. None of them knew we were coming.