@phranqueigh: I feel like every time a GOP candidate drops out, Oompa Loompas should appear & sing a song to teach us about the perils of gluttony & greed
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@WilliamAder: The only wisdom that comes with age is knowing which stores have the nicer restrooms.
@primawesome: Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us. We think we might be in love with your call. We made your call a mix tape.
@WhatsHerFace33: A spider jumped on my wife which made her stumble backwards and fall over her bag. Oh how I laughed! Tweet posted from the guest bedroom.