@phranqueigh: I feel like every time a GOP candidate drops out, Oompa Loompas should appear & sing a song to teach us about the perils of gluttony & greed
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@LeftBlank___: She shouted "GET SOMETHING TO PUT ON BEE STINGS" I fetched her one of her bras. Now we're not talking. Apparently.
@XplodingUnicorn: [Who Wants to be a Millionaire] Me: I'm stumped. Can I phone a friend? Host: What's your friend's name? Me: Wikipedia.
@BrownDogBlanket: Test your friendship today by liking and retweeting all the replies to a friend, but not their original tweet.