@simoncholland: I feel like HGTV is creating some false expectations for the attractiveness of the contractor you hire for home renovations.
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@heatherlou_: I went to high school with these people on Facebook, so I'm confused on how they didn't learn HOW TO SPELL.
@AnOrangeSNES: *Hands girl a card that says Be Mine* Girl: Aw that's so sweet *Pulls out a pickaxe* Me: Come on, do it I need some iron ASAP lady!
@JohnLyonTweets: Me: I'll drink to that! Person who brought me to church: [whispers] We usually just say "Amen."
@murrman5: [looking at wife's tombstone] today would've been our anniversary *falls to knees* why did I pre-buy her tombstone causing her to divorce me